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Fantasies of a Love Thief by Bilhana Bilhana it is said became involved in a secret affair with the king's young daughter whom he was supposed to be instructing in literature. Discovered by her father, he was condemned to death. In the moments before his execution, he evoked the princess whom he loved in fifty verses whose beauty was so powerful that the Goddess Kali interceded with the king so that the lover would be pardoned. This was originally written in Sanskrit which I have some familiarity with now. May you find what you are looking for. 1. Even now, I regret her- 2. Even now, if I see her again, 3. Even now, if I see her again, 4. Even now, I remember her in love- 5. Even now, I remember her: 6. Even now, if I see her again, 7. Even now, I remember her holding the
reins in our wild dance of love, 8. Even now, I remember her lying in bed, 9. Even now, I remember the wine-smeared
lips 10. Even now, at the end, I remember my lover's
face 11. Even now, my mind dwells on the night
my sneezing awoke the princess. 12. Even now, I remember my love's face: 13. Even now, I remember her bold bent glance, 14. Even now, I remember my love: 15. Even now, I remember the mark my nail
left on her sandalewood-powdered thigh- 16. Even now, I remember in secret her kohl-lined
longing eyes, 17. Even now, I remember in secret her braid's
loosened ties, wilted garlands, 18. Even now, I brood on her: 19. Even now, I remember her, 20. Even now, I remember my love gently laughing, 21. Even now, I remember a hundred flatteries
spoiling the sense of her words 22. Even now, I remember her eyes trembling,
closed after love, 23. Even now, if I see her again at the day's
close, 24. Even now, I remember her, 25. Even now, I never forget her, 26. Even now, I remember her, first among
beautiful women, 27. Even now, knowing death is quickly closing
in, 28. Even now, in pain, I recall her eyes, 29. Even now, though I strain my vision, 30. Even now, I remember her, 31. Even now, I shudder to face what she
tried for my sake- 32. Even now, my heart' suffers night and
day. 33. Even now, my haunted mind broods on her- 34. Even now, the sound of bangles strikes
my mind sharply: 35. Even now, I remember her bristling with
delight when I was so drunk from drinking her mouth's sweet wine that
I left a nail mark on her breast- 36. Even now, I remember her angered face, 37. Even now, my mind finds me idling with
her friends, 38. Even now, I don't know! Is she Shiva's
mate, or a nymph come to earth by Indra's curse, 39. Even now, who in the world can paint
her form? 40. Even now, I see her kohl-blacked eyes, 41. Even now, gleaming white like a clear
autumn moon, 42. Even now, I would give my life to recover
love's sanctum- 43. Even now, in a world rich with signs
of beauty surpassing each other's perfections, 44. Even now, a wild goose's plump body glides
on waves she stirs in a wooded river cove in my mind- 45. Even now, I miss her eyes languidly roving
in their youthful wanton way- 46. Even now, night and day, I can't forget
her waking from sleep- 47. Even now, I remember her languid body
rising to a golden glow, 48. Even now, I remember the love-play battle
she fought with empty hands, 49. Even now, how can I endure the loss of
my young mistress's gifts? 50. Even now, Shiva does not avoid the sea's
black poison.
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From My Blog
A good friend lost As happens once in a while, a friend from a few years back contacts me to catch up, touch base, say hello. My website and my listing in the alumni page at the University of Dayton School of Law leave a trail there for anyone who might care to find me and speak with me. Careful planning makes it so, unfortunately and for a number of reasons I don't often try to find old friends and old classmates. A Nexus search, a run through Google or a look through the alumni directory would be sufficient for me to find anyone I would desire to find but I don't do it. There is always time. Time sometime later to make that small effort. So as a result I don't look up people. There is always time right? Yah. Well a friend of mine, Marc did take the time to look me up and it was good to hear from him. In our emails back and forth he mentions a fellow classmate, Andy Johnson or as was the running joke for us "Andy's Johnson." Andy was a tall, gangly fellow with the disposition of a puppy. We'd constantly make our "Andy's Johnson," clever remarks and he'd smile and never took offense and we never meant any. He was a fellow who seemed not to have a hostile bone in his body and it seemed to me that it would never occur to him to say a bad word about anyone. When he would talk it seemed like he was always laughing even when he wasn't. A smile on his face and he'd always be genuinely glad to see you. When he would tell a joke it was like he was a little kid saying something he knew that grownups would disapprove of so his jokes or something funny were told only after he looked around to make sure that someone who might take offense would be out of earshot. At the end of a long hard week in class he'd come down to
the local watering hole that some of us had taken as our own. BW3's on
Friday after class was where we would grab some hot wings, some happy
hour beer and we'd pull some tables together, enough to accommodate however
many of us would show up. Andy would laugh with us and we'd talk about
what funny things happened in class. Sometimes he'd get a bit excited,
a beer or two down the evening and when he wanted to say something and
his words were tripping around on his tongue his eyes would sparkle and
the smile on his face would broaden as if to acknowledge that he thought
he was being a bit foolish or silly. But we would slap him on his back,
laugh at his jokes and generally do the things that friends would do with
each other as we recognize everyone who would want to be in the conversation
and who would likewise have a patience and joy with us. There is no question in my mind that life is not fair. Evil people live and prosper, good people who struggle and fight to get ahead in life die in car accidents. Life is short and brutish and it's a sack full of misery, pain, horror and suffering. A person like Andy makes you almost believe that isn't true, his warm smile and good heart carved a bit of hope and kindness into the world and he will be missed. ......
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