A Day after 30 October
Now Playing: Bob Dylan, Blonde On Blonde -1966 #3
Topic: Mysteries of Life

A flower. A day late. As always.

Reflections on Things Lost
Topic: Mysteries of Life


With all of the calamities and disasters occurring in the country both in the past and in the present it gives me pause to think about how absolutely fragile life is. The idea of some sort of permanence in the world, some sort of solid and surefooted present and future which is not real in the first place, becomes more evident in it's absence. Buddhist as I am, I know nothing is permanent. Everything is impermanent especially life itself. With nothing permanent in life some things remain important if only because of how fragile and ephemeral those things are. People, friends and relatives are always there even when gone, even when not seen for years. People you think about every single day and haven't seen for years are always there. Always and forever a part of your life.

I had this dream once. I have this dream often. I'm doing something, something else entirely like browsing in a library and I see someone who sees me. Someone I know. Someone who knows or knew me. I feel the scorn and disgust from them and I flee. Never a word, just the feeling that sends me fleeing and to suddenly awaken. I have to explain, whenever I have dreams it's not like I have dreams far from reality. Dreams of my own reality and not dreams as I wish them to be. Just reinforcements of reality. I wish I had dreams of monsters chasing me or falling but I get this one instead. I never have a chance to do anything in this dream, no way to change the outcome, it's predetermined. I awaken with my heart pounding and with a sadness that wraps around me.

I had that dream last night. Quite vivid and real. Only this time the person wasn't mad at me. And actually spoke to me. The feeling was intense, my surprise and gratefulness was overwhelming. I wanted to speak, to say something but as in life my words would not come. My heart raced and I was suddenly awake. I felt great, a wonderful feeling. And it wasn't real. I never did say I was sorry. And I was. And I am.

Storm rising
Now Playing: Nena - 99 Luftballons
Topic: Mysteries of Life


This is a picture of the Gulf Coast last week. Near on 100 degrees and a 100 percent humidity. Told you I could live in heat and humidity. Not only that, but what you can't see is that I'm wearing black. NOthing but. This week it's all rain and clouds and general doom. There's a reason after all why it started as swamp land. But this storm seems to be heading for New Orleans and since New Orleans is below sea level it has the possibility of being very very bad. If you're evacuating New Orleans don't forget all yor Mardi Gras beads and whatever you do, don't look back - you could turn into a pillar of salt. We'll see about that.

Just watched the Denver Bronco's defeat the Indianapolis Colts. Bronco's look good, Mike Anderson looks good as the starting running back with a nifty 93 yard touchdown run. With all the hopefulness that comes with pre-season I'm hopeful for this year. I've always believed that you should confine your irrational belief to sport - irrational faith in the possibility of success against all odds, irrational belief in redemption and rebirth, irrational belief that hard work and effort can help you find your way to eventual success. Like John Elway. Like Lance Armstrong.

Pop Beaver
Now Playing: Rebecca Pidgeon - Tangerine / Lena Marlin - My Lucky Day
Topic: Mysteries of Life

I was of course unable to do anything but take pictures of the Pop Beaver. The Pop Beaver, one of 24 various Beaver incarnations which will all find their way here eventually. Three solid weeks of 'Beaver Shot of the Day' pictures if I was of a mind. I captured some pictures of one of the Beavers at an intersection and my eyes went to a amused driver who watched me take pictures of that particular Beaver. I smiled and said to him, 'Now who doesn't love Beavers? I mean, a man's gotta have something wrong with him if he doesn't like Beavers.' The smiling and amused fellow from the car nodded in agreement. Perhaps it's not world peace but you know, one Beaver at a time and I'm pretty sure that world peace will take care of itself. One Beaver at a time. Yes indeed, now that's something I can get behind. Thank you Pop Beaver.

Oh, and please note the admonishment at the bottom left hand corner. The green sign there says "Please do not Touch or Climb the Beaver."

No Emmy Nominations for Gilmore Girls
Now Playing: Chris Pirillo Show
Topic: Mysteries of Life
It's been a long time in my life since I've had any belief in any sort of awards as a reference for what is good and what I should think is good. Same thing goes for lists of 'Greatest Americans' or 'Best Movies of all Time' or '100 Most Beautiful People.' It's all opinion at best, blatant commercialism, issue driven support or some mixture of the three.

Nobel Peace Prizes, Nobel prizes in science. Yes indeed, that's the gold standard of awards. Well we all know Yassar Arafat got a Nobel Peace Prize and he never renounced the use of terror. A Nobel Prize was awarded to Egas Moniz in 1936. here That person got the Prize for doing and promoting lobotomies. Well so much for the worth of the Nobel Prize. The best you can say about it is that it sometimes gets the science awards wrong and it's 'Peace' prize awards are skewed to the left and toward the sensibilities of the political left. When I was young and lacking knowledge about the real nature of the world I thought a Peace Prize was something to be admired and that the winners of such a prize must be great people. Fortunately I didn't stay in the dark about these things and now I know Nobel Prizes are issue driven opinion and an opinion I don't agree with.

Things like the tripe put out by magazines and television shows where they advertise the 100 most beautiful people or funniest comedians are fairly harmless exercises in idiot entertainment. They tend to be reflections of the lack of depth and knowledge of the list builders and unfortunately they perpetuate that lack of depth and understanding. You know, any list of the funniest comedians which has Chris Rock on it is profoundly wrong. Those kind of lists as they are seen on TV involve unfunny comedians and personalities you don't know giving uneducated and uninteresting opinions about people they usually don't know and never heard of. You can imagine these lists being made by 18 year old interns who only have a bare remembrance of anything that happened in the last ten years let alone any historical or personal knowledge about whatever subject they pontificate on. Those lists can't be taken seriously at all and are best ignored.

Now the entertainment awards are definitely political, commercial self promotion. The 'Best' Motion Picture of the year is usually a unwatchable bag of haggish. Shakespeare in Love - 1998. Need I say more? Proves my point. A more worthless bag of warm spit you'll never see. But, it did win the Academy Award for best picture. So it must be good right? Only if you are an Entertainment Tonight watching and obeying zombie.

Which brings me to the Gilmore Girls. A better show on TV you will never have seen. Great writing and great acting. Better than most anything you will see on the TV presently being produced. Did the show get a nomination? Ha, surely you jest. What's good isn't the criteria. Boobies and cursing of course are the most important criteria - which explains most of the HBO nominations. Which also explains the Desperate Housewives nominations. Gilmore Girls has regular women without exposed boobies so you know, nothing worthy of notice. Thank goodness I know what I like and have an idea of what is good without listening to the award shows or best of lists.

Happy Days
Now Playing: Tony Kornheiser - Sportstalk 980
Topic: Mysteries of Life
Some days just get better and better. Today I found Tony Kornheiser on the Internet. I remember when the foul and evil ESPN took him off the radio and replaced him with some blathering idiot which marked the last time I listened to ESPN radio in any form. The wit, the sarcasm, the world weary cynicism, the sheer crankiness of the orange dude was somehow comforting and assuring to me. First heard him while listening in the DC area. Sportstalk in it's most intelligent and interesting form. Then I was happy to see him go to the emerging ESPN radio even though they changed his time but still I could find him. It's really the small pleasures in life and he was one of those. I don't know, it faded, I thought he wouldn't do anymore radio and stopped looking. Then of course today I finally figured out how to use FeedDemon to get the TWIT broadcasts. Woo hoo. I tell you, it's always wonderful when stuff works. TWIT being the podcast by the guys from the good Tech TV which was taken off the air by the evil G4 crap monsters. (I think there is a theme here)

I said to myself, humm, Leo Laporte has a radio show podcast. Let's find that. I found that show, downloaded the show via FeedDemon and was happily listening to something smart and interesting and then thought about Tony Kornheiser. Started what I thought was a fruitless Google search to see if I could find a podcast from him. I mean, he's hip, he's happening, it could happen. Well, then I found that he was on XM Radio (which means I have to seriously think about getting XM damn it) and then a bit more googling and there he is on Sportstalk 980 here and I'm listening to his show right now. He's talking about some boring sports stuff and then there is the interesting discussion about the chimps eating some guys face. I mean really now, that's what I'm here for. The good stuff. Woo hoo.

The call of Doom
Now Playing: Hall and Oates - Hits, Chieko Kawabe - Brilliance
Topic: Mysteries of Life
I'm fighting the desire to turn Doom III on and go looking for more shambling zombies and roaring pinkies to dispatch. The game is better than I thought it would be and more addictive. My own fault actually, whenever there is a clamoring noise extolling the virtues of this product or that person I automatically refuse to be baited or drawn in. I remember the first Doom game and how 'great' that was. Boring and headache inducing.

The television blurts out to me as I surf through the channels that there are only three Everybody Loves Raymond left before it's gone for good. Another blindingly inane mess that I've not seen one minute of. Somehow I'll find the strength to go on when it leaves network TV and lives forever in syndication.

The NBA Basketball playoffs have finally begun. I think the season began a year or two ago. Who knows. I flip over for a second or three to listen to the pregame show for Miami Heat vs New Jersey Nets. Scotty Pipen says he thinks the Heat with Shaq will easily win the first game. The next guy over who I don't recognize says the same thing, a brief knowing smirky smile pass between him and Pippen. The anchor fellow is about to fall on his sword for the network and predict that he thinks the Nets will actually win this one and surprise everyone. A attempt to hold onto a audience with a valiant effort.

Don't know if I mentioned that I had gone to see Sin City. First of all - 10 Dollars?! Holy bejesus. I almost walked away from that one. Anyways. Very bloody and very violent. Rory from Gilmore Girls is one of the prostitutes which was startling. Three stories tied together in a loose fashion. Not terrible. Prepare for severed heads, Pez dispenser heads, limbs hacked off, cannibalism, child molesting, torture and boobies of course. Great boobies then again aren't most boobies great.

And if you can't see the forest for the trees.

The Wedding Huppa - With Gilbert the Goat
Topic: Mysteries of Life
Did I mention that I love Gilmore Girls? One of the great things about the repeats is you get to catch those little bits you missed. I love good writers who fill up every minute with some extra clue, some other information that informs the characters and the long term story. I remember the episode when Luke and Lorelai are talking about the wood carved goat named 'Gilbert' who was found in the yard. I hadn't seen 'Gilbert' before that episode and had no idea where Gilbert the Goat came from. Well, the episode where Lorelai is about to get married (but runs away instead) to Max has Luke bringing a carved Huppa to her yard and she mentions there even being a carved goat on it. Hence the first reference to Gilbert the Goat. An unnamed reference to Gilbert but at least he's there. Brings a unexpected smile to my face.

Female Orgasm - The other side of the seven minute normal male
Topic: Mysteries of Life
Well the infomercial I've been waiting all my life to see has finally found it's way to TV. Well almost. I'm looking at the Lifetime Channel right now and it looks like your basic infomercial but they aren't selling the magic cream or phallic toy. Secrets of the Sexually Satisfied Woman A number of women are defining the problem of sex without orgasm. The show might be an infomercial in the end but it's just discussing the problems of orgasmless sex. Knowledge is power and goodness knows that there isn't enough knowledge in the whole sex thing. As I watch this I would almost be shocked by the lack of knowledge I'm seeing. Of course, it isn't a big shock that there are so many women with difficulty having orgasms when you think of the one and a half minute premature ejactulator and the 'seven minute normal male orgasm'

Seven Minutes? Wot?
Topic: Mysteries of Life
I'm stunned - Premature and Mature Ejaculation report I mean really now. Goodness. I'm at a loss for words here. Seven minutes would definitely be substandard and a nonstarter as far as my own experiences go. Heck, anything under the twenty minute quickee standards is just bound to earn hateful stares and sullen partners. And only then when time is short. More like an hour is what I thought it was supposed to be. But, according to the report, and it's a scientific report of some 1500 men, according to the report those who have premature ejaculation lifted off at 1.8 minutes. That's a sad thing indeed. Poor dudes, perhaps some medication and therapy. But the stunner for me was the stopwatched time for those other folks who claimed to not be premature. 7.3 minutes was the average time for the rest, the healthy male folk having no problem at all. Eh? What? Wot? It's too late in the month for April Fool's but this just can't be right.

To Solve All of the Problems of the World
Topic: Mysteries of Life
Ah indeed. I was standing in line at the grocery store with my staff of life stuff - Tea, sugar, cheese-its, ramen noodles, - the classics. My eyes lingered over at the wall of magazines on either side of where I stood. It occurred to me as I read those article titles and teases that if only one of those titles was actually real and did what it said it would do then in short order all of the ills of the planet would be gone. If the article that said I could have rock hard abs in only six weeks was real I can just see all the people who would not only have rock hard abs in the next six weeks but just think of all those people and how their self esteem would soar if they too could really have rock hard abs in six weeks. More smiles, more friendliness, more self assured people who wouldn't need to honk their horns and be inpatient on the highway. Wow. What a concept. If that one article title over at Cosmo was real, 'One hundred things, (twenty, thirty, fifty - they just make up a number) he can't tell you about what he wants, or that other article -'fifty ways to give her the earth shattering orgasm she wants.' Can you imagine how stunned the world would be if any of those articles were true? Happy women, happy men. Fewer murders, divorces, assaults. Paradise in short order. Humm. Perhaps I was too hungry at the time. :-)

Pope John Paul II
Topic: Mysteries of Life


It's hard to not cry during this whole thing. The Pope is one of the few people who I would consider to really be holy. Someone to be admired for his strength and for his faith. A father figure even for long lapsed Catholics like me.

I remember when the last two Popes died and the time of the newsmen and cameras at the Vatican. I'm watching the St. Peter's Square filling up with people and listening to the prayers and the vigil being held. It's a monumental moment in history as with the death of the last Pope and the events that led up to John Paul the 2nd becoming the Pope. The weeks ahead will definitely have an influence on all of us.

Sent running for Spybot, Ad Aware and AVG -
Topic: Mysteries of Life

Ack. Last night I tried to punch up Drudge Report and got this site -http://find-it.web-search.la/ . Punched up Wonkette and go the same site. Holy Crap thought I. I've been hijacked. Pulled the internet, ran AVG and nothing came up. Ran Spybot and nothing came up. Ran Ad Aware and nothing came up. Wow, it's worse than I thought. No sign of anything actually hijacking my Firefox browser I tentatively plugged back in and tried the BBC. Well heck, that came up. Tried Drudge again - I get either the above crap hijack 'find-it' page or I get this
"This IP is being shared among many domains.
To view the domain you are looking for, simply enter the domain name in the location bar of your web browser." Drudge, Wonkette, Gizmodo, Ain't it Cool and Andrew Sullivan, but not Ars Technica, Boing Boing, Daily Kos or Fark. Very odd and I can't find any info about why this is.

Easter
Now Playing: Within Temptation -Memories
Topic: Mysteries of Life

My favorite song of the moment. Video is good as well and the singer is pleasingly beautiful. The website with a preview of the Memories video is here.

CNN is running their 'Special Report' what with it being Easter and all, about Mary Magdalene being possibly the first pope, wife of Jesus and generally in charge of the whole thing. A repeat of something designed to anger those folks who wouldn't even watch CNN. They get to firm up their base by obliquely attacking Christianity so generally it's a plus plus for them. Religion is one of those things that you can't talk about without offending someone but if you are going to do it do it to maximum benefit like CNN does.


Watched another one of my favorite old movies, "Going My Way" with Bing Crosby and Barry Fitzgerald as a couple of Catholic Priests. Barry being the 65 year old leader of a fading inner city church and Bing Crosby being the replacement sent in by the Bishop to revive the church and ease the old fella out. A very slow, wordy, corny, black and white treasure that will never see the light of day outside of perhaps Turner Classic Movies channel. Sweet and comforting. At the end of the movie when Bing Crosby surprises the priest played by Barry Fitzgerald with his 90 odd year old mother from Ireland whom he hadn't seen in 45 years and you see the reunion it's just wonderful and brings a tear to my eye every time I see it. It's a shame that this image of Catholic Priests isn't the one that most people think of when they think of Catholic Priests. The message of the movie or at least one of them is that it's good to do good things regardless of the reward. Do good for the sake of doing good. At Easter one tends to think of the positive values and thoughts that religion embraces and it's really a shame that those good ideas aren't put more into practice. Do good, be good, make amends, be forgiving. All good ideas honored more in a trip to church at Easter and at Christmas for many. Many others not even that if they profess to believe. Talk and action. I always am of the mind that the actions say more than the words do.

pink butterflies
Topic: Mysteries of Life


Just a little thing I was playing with. The little butterfly hovers above my computer screen and reminds me how much I love pink butterflies. Yes indeed.

In celebrity justice I note that Robert Blake was acquitted on the murder charge and you know, that's the name of that tune. (Baretta humor) That Lil/Little Kim was found guilty of perjury and in June will find out if she is going to spend twenty years in the big house. Peterson was sentenced to death and you'll get to see that in thirty years perhaps but I doubt it. However he will have a hellish time in prison and will likely wish he was dead for most of that time. So his karma will get him. Speaking of death penalty and the implementation of same, check out this link to desert vampire where the BBC will give you an interesting account of the execution of a serial killer in Iran. Him and another man lured little kids out to the desert, tortured, raped and murdered them. He was flogged, stabbed by a relative of one of his victims, the noose put around his neck by the mother of another victim and he was slowly hanged in front of a cheering crowd. I don't feel sorry for the person who harmed helpless children. I'm not surprised either, your karma will catch up with you.

In other death penalty news I've been emailed by someone (Richard Soltow) who would like for me to feature a woman who is on death row in Florida. Virginia Larzelere who has a support group at helpvirginia@yahoogroups. A quick google shows that she has some info and advocates on the web already.

In yet other death penalty news of sorts, a young lady added me to her icq, which of course happens all the time. I'm not sure why 22 year old fake females always add me and what scam on icq they might be working but at least this one time it was an actual person. She said "I took the liberty of adding you on ICQ. Now I just want to give you some
more info on who I am, so you don't mistake me for some madman trying to get
you on my contact list or something:" Well a NIN, Tool fan who is studying Egyptology with an interest in the death penalty from Denmark. As Spock would say, 'fascinating'. It reminds me of the nature of the Internet and the wide variety of people I know. From China, Hong Kong, Turkey, India, Canada and the US to name a few places. It's a shame that ICQ is full of so many bots now and spambots and such. It is nice and it's fascinating to actually communicate with people from around the world, with various interests and various points of view. Hard to find that anymore. Oh well.