Tour de Me
Topic: Mysteries of Life

Well this is new, a new interface to mess up. As can be seen by the  picture, (actually that's the bit I'm messing up, I can't get the picture to show up.) I've been out riding up and down painful hills. Painful going up and terrifying going down. One false jerk of the handlebars and it's road kill for me. Hours in the sun wondering when the next hill would crest and you can hopefully catch your breath. And you get to play mind games with yourself in your efforts to not stop, to not put your foot to the curb and taking that breather. It's amazing to me, no matter what I feel like and how able I might feel I am going to be, as soon as I push my foot down on a pedal and the bike is turned slightly upward toward the top of the hill, I am most certain that I cannot do it. I cannot possibly get to the top while still staying in the saddle and pushing with my legs. You think, well, maybe I can turn the pedals for a few turns. It'll be just a few feet then I can surrender. Then I think about being complimented ( I think it was a compliment but in either case it has stayed with me forever) - on my thighs. Someone once said that they had known only girls to have to such hard thighs. In truth I had muscled up a few overpasses every day on a cheap bike I would ride to school. That gave me hard thighs and every hill I go up anymore and I think of that comment. It makes me stay in the seat and let my thighs muscle me up whatever hill I'm going up. If your breath holds out it's a matter of how much pain you can endure to keep pedalling. Then the pain stops getting greater and your legs are sore as you find your pedalling easier than ever and going flat is like going downhill. Then there is going downhill and braking and deciding how fast to allow yourself to go, too fast and you crash, too slow and you don't have that bit of momentum going back up those hills. Lots of fun and good for you.

Midnight TV
Now Playing: The Voices in my head
Topic: Mysteries of Life
Was flipping through the channels the other night, past the channel that sells you 150 spiffy looking knifes for $19.95. Past the mostly naked women with phones in their hands imploring you to call their number to talk to actual women in your neighborhood who are desperately anxious to hear from you. Past the ab lounge, the ab cruncher, the thigh blasterino, the pretentious female telling me that the 150 dollar a bottle snake oil they are selling is actually worth 150 dollars and that they sold millions of bottles of it at that price but are now feeling the upwelling of human kindness and willing to sell their bottles of denatured hamster urine for only $29.95 until the government finally takes notice, takes the company to court and fines them out of existence, the Time-Life songs of the sixties. Then there is the other half of the stations being various Bible thumping preachers with varying levels of disdain for the viewer, although it may just seem that way to me since I zap right through them before they get their spiel going. Just those accusing, knowing eyes of guys in Nehru jackets, mature stern female preachers and those ubiquitous waving Bibles given the brief time it takes to press the forward or backward button before they disappear into the next channel full of amazing offers or semi naked females. It's enough to send a person up out of bed and into the kitchen to bake an apple pie. :-)

Cool Hand Luke
Now Playing: Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral
Topic: Mysteries of Life
Was watching Cool Hand Luke today, a movie about rebellion and I guess about how cool rebellion is. I watched carefully the act that got the character put on a Florida chain gang and you know, the dude deserved to go to jail for that. Social order is a high priority, it's what keeps the majority of us safe from those who have no problem going against that order and whose actions make us all less safe. I don't know that two years is the best sentence for that, I would think a bit more creative sentencing would serve the purpose of justice and help steer the rebel in a right direction. Of course, the character, played by Paul Newman, was self destructive to begin with, directionless and one to question authority and might not have been put off his slow ride to suicide by cop but who knows. I saw through the first part of the movie the character was sort of getting along pretty well and not causing a lot of trouble. When his mother died and he wasn't allowed to go to her funeral is when he went over the edge and escaped a number of times. Well, you know, the character had nobody to blame but himself for his situation and when the one guard character was putting Cool Hand Luke in the box and said he was only doing his job Luke said 'Well that still doesn't make it right' and that pretty much is the character removing blame from himself and putting it on 'society' Sorry, Cool dude, it might not have been right but it was the rules. I remember reading on occasion when someone is released from prison 'doing the right thing' so they could go to a funeral or see their dying mother and then lighting on out escaping. It's those folks who make the rules harden up not the evil prison wardens or guards. If someone who is released from prison to go to a funeral or other humanitarian reason and that person goes out, commits more crimes, hurts others, then it necessarily falls on whoever let him or her out before their time was up. So the character of Cool Hand Luke, who fights against impossible odds with a whole lot of nothing as the signature of his character's behavior, never does get his 'head right'

Other than that, the whole sweaty prison ambiance was a little hollow. No bugs crawling everywhere as they would be, the prisoners were a lot less vicious and evil than you'd find in reality. In all, a lot less real than when I remember seeing it lo these many years ago. But still a good movie which I won't be watching again for another 20 years.

Soccer - Effete European Nancy Boys in Short Pants
Topic: Mysteries of Life
And a hearty good riddance to men in short pants running around for ninety minutes, chasing a ball for usually no discernable reason. The game every other country is mad over, and the game which churns out more stories of people burning their houses down because they paid rapt attention to some goofy match between Chad and the Azores, more stories of husbands killing their wives for making too much noise when a general overkill in boring stories about english soccer fans this or german soccer fans that. Oh sure, the whole thing is still going on and craptastic stories of shocking soccer stupidity will continue but at least we won't have to listen about how the US can get to the next round if only they beat Botswana and Nigeria beats Alsace-Lorraine. So pick up the phone to tell it to the three people who give a crap and let the rest of us hear stories of genunine interest or import. Like when the heck is football season going to start?

Sex with Robots
Topic: Mysteries of Life
I see this story going around, originally a story from Times Online and of course since it's robots and sex it's a big story at Digg and Slashdot. It's funny really, seeing some folks get all roused to wonder and work on the robot 'ethics' that they decide they need to develop and spit out for the rest of us to follow. I think anything that you might be worried about is going to be taken care of by product liability laws. Like the nonsense of the Asimov's 'Three Laws' there is no need and more importantly, there is no earthly way to take what a bunch of naive scientist types decides to throw up on the wall and make it universal law directing a potentially billion plus dollar industry. It's a laugh really. If Segway or Ford decides to build your sex robots in the future they are going to be ass deep in the same sort of regulations they deal with to bring any other product to market. Any scientists who want to anguish over the implications of the ethics and morality of the Johnny Ready Robot or the Susie Sensual Robot will be doing so from the novels, articles and protests they might be inclined to indulge in.

If somebody is worried about sex with inanimate objects then I'm afraid that train left the station a millennium ago. If somebody is worried that some folks might become obsessed with their robot sex buddy then they should know that it's already there with rubber girlfriends ( I remember seeing it on HBO) and besides, people get obsessed with any number of things so what's the problem. If you program Johnny Ready for rough sex and don't like what happens, well then operator error but even that will be decided in the courts. If you get a butt load of money from the jury cause you failed to operate your robot safely then the manufacturer will have to spend time and money making the thing idiot proof. Heck, I bet even some medical insurance will cover you getting your very own sex robot.

clouds
Topic: Mysteries of Life


Looking at clouds move and change we can see in the blink of the eye how things transform and are not permanent. Transitory in fact. You can see beauty and images of terror pass before your eyes and before your imagination in a blink of an eye. You'll naturally try to hold onto the image you just saw in the clouds but it's impossible. The image is gone, the flying demon or the vase of flowers lived there for you, only you, in your mind and then the visual evidence of it is gone. Soon even the memory of what you saw passes from your mind as you continue on your day. Kind of like life, you experience it in passing and every joy and every terror passes eventually from your thoughts and from your mind. Some things may last in your mind but when you go so goes those thoughts and memories. Transitory, ephemeral and gone. Like the clouds in the sky swirling and floating above your head.

The Sun emerges yet again
Topic: Mysteries of Life
Well, except for a couple of History Channel and A&E programs about the devil and all of that there wasn't anything major happening. By major I mean a bunch of kids, shoppers or drivers killed by a madman or madmen. However, evil was there making it's usual appearance as witnessed by the video shots of the bald headed, neck tattooed, bikini top murderer as he was brought in front of a judge and having his mug shot taken again. He looked shocked that he was receiving so much attention. A blinking, confused, everyday garden variety personification of evil who didn't appear to have the presence of mind to look evil beyond the evil that was defined by his deeds. Sometimes you wonder what is going on in the head of someone like that. Doing the evil, committing the crimes he did commit, naturally lead you to the handcuffs and the police. That behavior leads to the striped pajama clothes and confinement and loss of every choice ever again. There he was, seemingly surprised by his surroundings and uncomfortable. I don't see how he didn't know he would end up back in jail and I don't understand how he could even look surprised. I just don't get any of it. Like trying to imagine in five or six dimensions, I just can't form a framework in my mind to understand why a person would kill another or why some claim to even get pleasure from doing it. It's just beyond me. I start to pass out at the first sign of injury, blood or anyone or anything is in pain. Heck, the idea of someone boiling a crab or lobster even if they are frozen bits, makes me have to lie down. This guy they keep showing on the news was supposed to have driven around looking for random victims which although I know it happens, still boggles my mind. Here's a big cheer for DNA as well as fingerprints as part of the records for every sex offender. It made for a quick identification and a quick capture. Now if only all the surveillance cameras were of high quality then we'd be able to catch every child molester and rapist and murderer out there. Here's hoping.

666 - Numerology Gone Wild
Topic: Mysteries of Life


Well it's that time of year, it's those numbers adding up and down and across to form the number of the beast. The beastly number of fear, that number by which he shall be known. The antichrist. June 6, 2006. Or 6-6-06. Please try to ignor that number zero in there, it's zero after all and therefore doesn't exist. It's 666 time! Woohoo. A new Omen movie opens on 6/6/06 and the new book in the "Left Behind" series goes on sale on the same date. Time to get your numerologically driven, Book of Revelations based fear of the unknown and unknowable on and party like it's the time of judgment. As Yul Brenner says to Charleston Heston in the Ten Commandments, "Where is your God now Moses?" Prepare to have the fiery pit of doom open up and brace yourself for the mewling, howling demons of Cthulhu to chew on your flesh. Doom is at hand. Dante's Inferno has just had a number of new circles built and ready just in time for the tourist season. Heck, if you didn't make the last comet out of here with the rest of the Heaven's Gate bunch you've missed your last ride out. Yes indeed, great fun for one and all. I of course plan to stay up all night so I don't miss the start of it all. Well, maybe not actually. The mini hype for this date is rounding up and it'll be like any other day when it's all said and done.

Perhaps somebody might mention that you shouldn't worry and be nervous since well let's see, where to begin. Ah let's start by saying that the calendar isn't and wasn't a thing set in stone at the time of Christ or even at the time that the Book of Revelations was written. So, all things being equal you really really aren't here on 6/6/06. Who knows what day it really is based on the calculations of the writers of the Book of Revelations. That part doesn't even really matter anyways since nobody is really certain what the dudes writing the Book were talking about. Perhaps they were talking about the Roman leader of the time, doesn't matter which time, they were mostly quite nasty to Christian folks and other nonroman folks. I mean, long before black folk in Africa were keeping slaves and selling other black folk to white folk on ships or to arabs or wherever they could find a market the Romans were carting people of all colors off as slaves to you know, slave away, die in mines, die in the gladitorial ring and the like so to folks who weren't Roman citizens life ws pretty spotty. Spotty enough so that when your local mystics and writers of holy books got together they would naturally make their version of the most evil person on the earth the antithesis of Christ and probably make him a Roman leader. But it's all a matter for a good argument which you can see on the History Channel tonight or in the near future.

The antichrist has been variously named throughout history and you'll recognize many of these guys. Napolean, Hitler, Stalin, Mao, George Bush. Yup, anyone who has done anything has been called the antichrist once or twice. The fact of the matter is that people like to have labels for things. They want to know who the bad guy is and they want to feel that there is some order in the world. So labels and stories about the end of world and how it'll turn out alright in the end for the good guys is all anyone every really wants. So we get to scare ourselves with stories of devils and demons and antichrist dudes and we device ways to identify him and them. Some folks, usually of the mentally ill variety even claim to be the devil, a demon, the antichrist, santa clause. It's all about being not right in the head.

Now June 6, 2006, which isn't as potentially evil as was June 6, 1966 or even June 6, 666, anyways, that day would be a good day to not go to the Mall or the subway or be hanging around in any gathering of people. Seems to me that it's the sort of day and idea that might prove too tempting to your random crazy person or deluded bunch of crazy people. It wasn't that long ago that some nutjob thought he could be a vampire if he killed somebody and drank their blood. So the idea that some folks might go into a Mall and start shooting people in the name of the devil isn't that far fetched. So, a day to stay home. Perhaps I'll even see if any of the news networks will even remember that June 6, 1944 was D-Day, the day that the Allies invaded Hitler's Europe. Probably be a day where the 'news' will talk about the new Omen movie, the new book from the Left Behind series and the party in Hell, Michigan. Such is life.

Morality of Mountain Climbing
Topic: Mysteries of Life


I've been reading the ongoing story about the people who climb Mount Everest and their collective decision to leave another climber to die while they made their way to the top of the mountain. It's a shocking thing to hear the rationalizations for leaving a man to die on his own and alone in a cave and it's even more remarkable to consider that some people think it is or was in any way morally justifiable to do so.

Sir Edmund Hillary said there is no question that the life of another human being is worth more than an ascent up a mountain, even if that mountain is Mount Everest. Hillary came to that conclusion without having to think too much about it. He comes from an age and a time when moral decisions were thought of as more black and white than they are now. It's always been my thought that morality changes with the times and the search for an ultimate morality that can be applied universally can never be formulated. People's and civilizations have survived thousands of years with beliefs that included slavery, human sacrifice, death penalties for all manner of crimes and so forth. That's sort of a moral relativism which many folks adhere to these daus which leaves them unable and unwilling to pass moral judgement on other peoples and other cultures.

The more than fourty people who passed by the dying climber and went on to the top of the mountain can be judged for their actions. Every one of them is a selfish, self absorbed human being without an ounce of compassion for other human beings except when pressured by the society in general. Every one of them could explain away why it was perfectly okay to leave the man to die alone so their petty ambitions could be achieved. Every one of them made the decision that even the compassion of being with a man as he died was too much of a sacrifice for them. Instead of being admired for their efforts and basking in the glow of adulation and respect they are all villians and despicable characters whose character was shown to the world in total. Sure you can begin to pile up excuses, - the air is thin, the temperature is cold, the climbers spent 100,000 dollars each to get to the mountain, the man was dying and we couldn't have saved him even if we stopped to help. Excuses, and lame selfish ones at that.

Many people claim to be moral people and many people claim to have moral guidance in their lives. You can see them praying or preaching or simply identifying themselves as belonging to this religion or that religion. Many people fool themselves into thinking they are good people and whether you are a mountain climber or a student or a lawyer you cannot escape your own actions and inactions as proof of your character and real morality. If you left a man to die, or if you otherwise abandoned a person in need and you could have helped, comforted or just been there and you decided it was too much trouble then you are what you are. And even if nobody else knows about what you did or only knows your version of the events and believes your carefully rationalized story - well, you know better don't you. Somewhere, under the story you've told yourself, you know better. These climbers happened to have their moment plastered all over BBC news and their cold hearted decisions are there for everyone to see.

Happy Early Valentine
Topic: Mysteries of Life

Beyond Good and Evil
Topic: Mysteries of Life
Every once in a while you wake up and you learn something that you didn't know before. A bit of information that gives you pause. Someone you know dies. A shock, a tragedy, something not expected. You feel bad, shaken and upset. What if somebody dies that you don't like. Do you cheer? If you are religious do you think about the will of god or the workings of karma? Would you feel smug about it as the death of someone you don't like confirms your vast and secure theories of the universe? That would certainly be arrogant and self delusional of you to think. What if that person who dies is someone you wished was dead. What if the level of dislike and distaste you have for the person is as high as can be, would you feel happy, vindicated, triumphant over the death of the person you despise? What kind of a person would that make you then? Would that make you an evil person? If you felt your life had been destroyed by that person, now dead, would you be an evil person if you felt happy with that knowledge? What is the level of harm that one person can do to you that makes you alright with being happy they are dead? What if you believed that the dead person wished you dead? An eye of the beholder sort of determination? What if you knew all of that and had fleeting feelings of happiness or whatever you might want to call it and then seeing yourself in that instant, felt remorse and afterwards felt bad for feeling good. Perhaps you could then detatch yourself from any feelings and you went beyond good and evil over it. How on earth would that even be possible? Is it possible to feel enough Buddhist detatchment over the whole thing that you could remove yourself from judgment over it?

When I post information about people who are executed or shortly to be executed my feeling is that nobody should kill another nor participate in the death of another human being. You'll find many anti death penalty websites desperately making up reasons why this person or that person shouldn't be executed. A bad childhood, bad things having happened to that person, the person is too old, too young, retarded or reformed. Rarely do they focus in on the sufferings those people to be executed have caused. The women, children, old people they've raped/tortured and killed hardly have a voice in the attempts to save their killers. I don't feel bad when those people are executed. I sometimes think about how frightening it must be to go through the whole process but then I think of the victims who went to agonized deaths and I think about Karma and cosmic retribution. Two Thai fishermen have just been sentenced to death in the brutal rape and murder of a young woman and as I look at their pictures I see their fear. I don't feel bad for them, I think of their victim and I hope that really is fear in their eyes and I know that their Karma has fully wrapped around them. I don't know that this makes me a bad person, I hope it doesn't make me a bad person.

I don't know. I'm still digesting. Still trying to wrap my mind around it.

Bronco Football win over Patriots
Topic: Mysteries of Life
Watched the Denver Bronco's beat the New England Patriots this evening. A nerve wracking event which came out in a way I wanted. Much too much emotional investment in a football game but I've always followed my Denver Broncos and I don't think I'll stop anytime soon. The best part of it will be hearing those who didn't even think the Broncos had a chance try to backtrack and change their tunes. All I heard was how the Patriots were going to win the game and how the first game where the Bronco's won didn't have this player or that player and blah blah blah. Broncos won, get over it.

New Year
Now Playing: Cecilia Bartoli - Opera Proibita
Topic: Mysteries of Life
Happy early new years, the year of the Dog begins on January 29, 2006. I'd mention the Aztec day but there are x's in it and it's in three parts and just confusing. As I see another New Year's celebration go off without a hitch it seems to me that the islamists who had declared war on the US and western culture in general haven't made a peep in quite some time. A perfect time to try to strike fear in the hearts and minds of a civilian population to further their twisted evil plans of an islamic future dictatoriship world would be New Year's eve. All those parties, all those soft targets. It really would only take a suicide bomber in Australia at some public celebration and another one in another western nation to send the parties around the world ducking for cover. The fact that Osama and his ilk haven't done so would mean that they are pretty darn weak and unable to. Good news and a good sign that the capacity for evil by such cowards isn't as great as we have feared. So a good start to the new year.


Been happily listening to Cecilia Bartoli - Opera Proibita. A beautiful woman and a beautiful voice and highly recommended. Also listening to another find, Madredeus- a Portuguese chamber-pop/fado group with Teresa Salgueiro as the singer. Amazingly beautiful. Sings in portuguese and I don't understand a word. But like the Italian of Cecilia Bartoli, it's not necessary to understand the words to enjoy the incredible and beautiful voices.

To be or not to be - googled
Topic: Mysteries of Life
Me and Santa. I always like to meet up with the big guy every once in a while. A meeting with an icon of the season, a chance to touch base with the inner child inside of me. That inner child that somehow still remembers a body image of a small, young young me. One less hairy and less grumpy. A nice moment there. The fella in the Clause suit asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I don't know how many grown men come up to get their picture taken with Santa so I doubt either of us knew what the proper conversation would be. But you know, being nice is always a good first choice and so it was nice being nice. Good times.

Well, every once in a while I take a peek into the logs of my site. With thousands of people every day visiting it there is no real way to know everything about every click coming through my site but I can get a snapshot look at what's happening. The search terms, who is linking me from their sites, a general geographical idea of where some folks are coming from - that sort of thing. Every once in a while I look there and see my own name being searched. No big deal, I've seen my name googled many a time. There are tons of 'Gilbert Davis's out there. There is even one in Arizona who has gilbertdavis.com which I hope every day he forgets to renew. No big deal but always a bit startling. Sometimes someone will even send me a email saying hi there or screw you or whatever. It's always better to get if off your chest. Feel free to send hate mail or whatever just don't use any terms that my filter filters out. :-) And Merry Christmas to you.

Found a Song that's been itching me
Now Playing: Boz Scaggs - Hard Times (repeatedly)
Topic: Mysteries of Life
It's one of those things, a song you remember and go looking for. You know who sang it but somehow you just find the bleeding thing. I wasn't even looking for it and there it was.

I am down in the sea of confusion
With the waves of no recovery

Swept away by a distant voice calling
Ain't no use in tryin' to rescue me

I am falling back into your spell
Back into your cell of no return
No way to rescue me

A song from way back in the day. Gone but found again. A little joy of discovery. Rediscovery that is.